My mom's thoughts on her gift, a back massager thing that looks vaguely like a life vest:
"AGH. It feels like someone is stabbing me. It's like I'm being shot with a machine gun."
Later, as she described how it felt: "POWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOW."
Apparently my brother and I failed in our mother's day mission. Next year, I'll aim for something less likely to be described as "stabby."
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