Minneapolis Roadtrip 2: The "What if?" Game

I AM SO GLAD TO BE BACK IN TEXAS. I never thought I would say (or rather, type) that so emphatically, but oh man was that driving rough. I actually tend to do better on long rides by myself, weirdly enough, since I can listen to podcasts constantly or just play music I enjoy the whole way. But going up to Minneapolis and back with my mom, there was a lot of this sort of stuff going on:

"Haven't we listened to this song several times before?" (Yes, we were driving for ~40 hours total on this trip. Some songs are going to repeat.)
"[KD], I think you need to highlight your hair." (...)
"Can we listen to another podcast that doesn't talk about monkey AIDS?" (No, I'm genuinely interested in learning about simian immunodeficiency viruses.)

The best part, and I mean this not sincerely at all, is when my mom played the "What if?" game. Let me explain the rules of one of my mother's favorite pastimes.

1. Pick something that will NEVER happen, or that didn't happen. Example: Going to Harvard, a school that I did not apply to for a number of reasons. (Alternate examples of scenarios: me getting a degree in Accounting. Doing better in high school calculus classes. Winning a tennis match that I lost.)
2. Try to determine what could have been done to achieve that outcome. Example: Doing better in certain college classes I slacked in to boost my GPA.
3. Inform the person in question how much better this scenario would be than their current situation.
3. Express disbelief/disappointment that I didn't take those actions. Example: "I just don't understand why you didn't get better grades!" (Take as long as you possibly can on this step.)
4. Ignore all signs that the process is not helping anyone and is just causing irritation in the person you're berating.
5. Repeat with a different scenario. Or the same scenario, phrased in a different way.

My inclination is to not dwell on the past very much. If something happened, if I got a bad grade or made a mistake or lost a tennis match, I can acknowledge it, deal with it constructively, and move on without much hand-wringing. I like to think that it's one of my better personality traits. But being isolated with someone who can never let anything go, even though this person is my mother and I love her, is awful and stressful.

That said, those moments happened less that I expected on this trip, considering how long it lasted. I would even say that most of the trip was pretty pleasant, despite several games of "What if?"


There's a lot to report about the trip, so I think it'll be better to split this into a few entries over the next couple of days for the sake of organization. Next up: apartment-hunting adventures.